Upside Down and Spiraling
by Kuesuno
Summary: From an enconter with the boy on Hogwarts Express Harry realizes how he really is. How will he handle this discovery about himself and what will he do about this boy who can only cause him trouble? Lemons in later chapters; starts in 5th year.
1. Upside Down and Spiraling

**The story takes place during fifth year from beginning to whenever it is I finish ^-^. Hope you enjoy! (I don't own Harry Potter, but I wish I did. Much props to J.K. Rowling but you could have at least made Draco and Harry **_**friendsss **_**:'.**

On the first day of fifth year Harry Potter realized two things; first that he was gay and as soon as he saw Ginny he would have to give a very painful explanation to his distance lately and second that the man that caused this realization was only going to cause trouble for him. After his encounter on the train with said boy; Harry had returned to his usual compartment and waited for his friends to arrive. First to come was Ron, then Hermione, and then Luna and Neville; the compartment was rather cramped, but Harry didn't notice much as he just continued to stare at the scenery flickering by. The sun was rather bright at this time of day and the lime-green grass glittered from the rain earlier in the morning.

Harry silently pondered the things that had flipped his mind upside down and sent it spiraling out of control until Ron finally burst out, "Bloody hell mate! What's got you so quiet?"

Harry's head snapped up; startled by the sudden comment. "Oh it's nothing. Just… thinking."

He hoped that this response would suffice for Ron, but apparently not, "Well; what about?" "School. This year is going to be tough; what with the O.W.L.S and I wonder who will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be. Also is seems as though; with everything that's happened things will be very tight and tense at the school."

This; thankfully, did quench Ron's need for explanation and even started more chatter among all his friends except Hermione who continued to inconspicuously eye him. Harry knew that she knew he was lying, but he hoped to all hope that she would wait to bring it up. The rest of the ride went along much smoother. Though he could tell she was still suspicious, Harry relaxed knowing that Hermione had finally stopped eyeing him accusingly. When they finally got to Hogwarts Harry inhaled deeply and slowly; relieved to be back in the place where he really belonged. But instead of the boats he was so used to; Harry and his friends were instead lead to carriages with strange creatures attached to reins. They were probably the strangest things that Harry had ever laid eyes upon and yet it seemed that almost no one else paid them any attention.

Harry pointed at the one leading their carriage, "Hermione; what are those creatures?" Hermione gave him a strange questioning look, "What creatures Harry? I don't see anything there."

"How can you not see them; they're huge! Ron; you see them don't you?"

Ron just raised his eyebrows; "I think you may be seeing things mate 'cause there's nothing there."

Harry just stares and decides to leave it at that and climb into the carriage. "_Too much is happening today! First him and now I'm supposedly seeing things…_", he thinks confused at the jumbled up day. The entrance ceremony runs fairly smoothly and Harry learned that their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was to be a plump toad-like woman who wore pink and seemed to be very annoying. He didn't spend much time speculating on her because his eyes kept trailing to the one boy his mind had been on ever since he got on Hogwarts Express that morning.

After the ceremony Harry, Ron, Hermione, and their other fellow Gryfindors travel through the maze of a castle and reach the Gryfindor common room. Harry feels relieved to be back in the warm room and for the fifth time takes in his surroundings. There is already a crackling fire in the pit; it's flames dancing on top of the wood as they lick the edges of the shaded stone. The maroon chairs that sit near the fire look inviting and cozy. First years excitedly run up the oak wood stairs to their new dormitories and you can hear the planks groan underneath their feet though they will never break under the miniscule weight. The floor looks clean though everyone knows that it won't stay that way for long and the house colors are draped on the wall making the room all the more homey. It was the same scenery he had taken in every time that he came to Hogwarts, but Harry never got tired of it. Harry made his way over to the old chairs by the fire along with Hermione and Ron and he began to think about what he would have to do. After about half an hour Ginny finally came down from her dormitory and Harry shot straight up and walked over to her. He handed he a note and kissed her on the cheek before walking back to his seat and starting to chat with his friends once more. He looked over only to see her smile as she read his swirly hand writing~

_Ginny,_

_ Please meet me outside the portrait tonight at 12:00. I have something to tell you._

_With love,_

_Harry_

He hated himself for what he was going to do; she smiled at that note without even knowing how much heart break it was going to bring her.

**~ 12:00 am ~**

Harry had gone to wait for Ginny a little early hoping that maybe he could prepare himself better that way, but instead only succeeding in making him all the more nervous. When Ginny finally came out of the portrait hole his hands were clammy and he had a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Ginny giggled, "You didn't have to get here early Harry." Her laugh only made him feel worse for what he was about to tell her.

"Ginny…", he was having trouble finding his courage; he knew it was in there somewhere but it must have been hiding behind something because he just couldn't see it.

"Yes?" She asked curiously.

"Ginny I… fuck… I mean we have to break up…" Her eyes widened and glazed over with tears almost instantly.

"W-what? Why?" Her voiced cracked and I felt like crying myself; I still loved her but not in that way.

"Ginny; I think… no I know… I'm gay. I'm so sorry; so so sorry!"

"I-I turned you g-gay?" Ginny's tears were slowly sliding down her face; she looked heart broken.

"No, no of course not! Ginny please don't cry! It just kind of happened; I didn't know for sure until today. Ginny please understand! I still love you, but it's not in the way I thought it was." Harry didn't know what to say; he wanted Ginny to understand and he really didn't want her to cry.

"Please don't cry Ginny", he tried desperately to calm her as he reached out his hand to her.

"Don't t-touch me you bastard!" She yelled out; slapping away his hand and running towards the girl's bathroom. "Ginny!" Harry ran after her, but he couldn't follow her to the girl's bathroom so he made his way back to the dormitory. Her words rang in his head. He felt like the biggest asshole in the world. He kept re-running the nights events in his head while lying in his bed until he drifted off to sleep.

In his dreams he saw the boy; the boy that had turned his mind upside down and sent it spiraling. His platinum blonde hair whipped his face as he turned to look into Harry's emerald eyes. Harry couldn't look away from those silver pools as they stared at his soul. He couldn't believe that he had ever hated that face or that hair or that body. He was like living perfection to Harry and he so desperately wanted to touch this cold stared being, but the more he tried to reach out the harder it became. In his sleep that night Harry uttered only one word; "Draco…".

**So this was my first actual fanfic! I hope you guys enjoyed. Please leave your thoughts or critics in the reviews I really wanna hear what you guys think. And how do think I should make Draco find out? XD buh bye! ~ Kue**


	2. In an Effort to Focus

** Hey again :D I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter. This one starts the morning after Harry does the whole break up thing with Ginny, but there is gonna be a time jump after I close up those problems. Anyway hope you guys like this one too! I do not own Harry Potter; all props go to J.K. Rowling!**

Harry woke up smiling, but he wasn't sure why. He couldn't remember what his dream had been about. He just remembered platinum blonde hair. Harry could remember; though, the events of last night and he wanted nothing more than to say sorry to Ginny. So with that goal on his mind he got ready for class. He walked to the boys' bath and indulged in the hot water that engulfed his skin and sent tingles down his spine. After getting clean he dressed in his black slacks; white button-up shirt, striped tie, Gryfindor sweater vest, and Gryfindor robes; then headed towards the Great Hall and sat next to his friends. Almost as soon as he took his seat; Harry began looking for Ginny.

He spotted her quickly and she was giving him the death stare, but past that Harry could see the hurt. It caused the same feeling her crying did last night. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die for being such a jackass, but at the same time even though he knew he didn't deserve it he hoped that she would not share his secret. After about 2 minutes of her staring he couldn't take it anymore and ducked his head to stare at the food on his plate.

"You alright mate?" Ron asked ducking his head as well to look at Harry's face.

"Yeah… but… don't be mad okay?" Harry was afraid of the consequences of his actions.

Ron looked suspicious now, "What happened?"

He never promised he wouldn't be mad which made Harry wary, but he told him anyway, "I broke up with Ginny… she's real mad." As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it because Ron's ears almost instantly turned a shade of bright pink.

"Why did you break up with her", he asked in a would-be calm tone.

"I-I… I can't tell you." Harry shrunk in his seat wondering what Ron was going to do; knowing about his often over-exaggerated reactions, but to Harry's surprise Ron just made a loud huffing noise and then turned away from him. He knew he wasn't off the hook though because Harry watched as Ron's ears turned the same color as his hair. If Harry had felt bad before; he felt horrible now. He knew that his best friend probably felt frustrated because he wouldn't tell him the reason and pissed because Harry had broken up with Ginny.

After breakfast ended Harry proceeded to the halls on his way to his first class when he was tugged by the back of the robe into a dark hall. His shock subsided when he realized who had done it, but was replaced by fear at what might happen. Ginny stared at him the same way she had in the Great Hall and it made Harry extremely uncomfortable. But then he noticed a tear as it leaked out the side of her eye and everything inside Harry fell apart. "_How could I do this to her?_" He thought desperately; beating himself internally. Then she spoke breaking the silence.

"Who was it", her question surprised him. What did she mean?

"W-what", he asked stupidly.

"Who caused you to become gay and break up with me?" She look like she was getting very frustrated with Harry and it kind of scared him.

He stuttered; not knowing what to tell her. "Gi-Ginny I probably shou-"

"Just fucking tell me Harry! I need to know! I need to know who it was that was –so- important to you!" She clenched her fist around her robes as more tears began rolling down her face.

"It was… Draco. But please, please, -please- don't tell anyone. I can't let other people know about me. If I'm gonna tell anyone I want to do it myself…", Harry pleaded helplessly to the girl that he knew he deserved nothing from. His face fell as he stared at the ground; feeling ashamed of himself.

She put her hand on her hip. "Draco…", she muttered almost to herself, "How could someone like him cause you to change like that?! Just… I don't get it."

"I know it doesn't make sense and… I don't even get it. I'm just sorry; I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Never…", Harry didn't know what to tell her because it was true. He didn't know why Draco had changed him in that way and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Her face softened slightly as she looked at him. "I know your sorry Harry, but that doesn't change how much it hurts." She began to walk past him, "I won't tell anyone I promise. Just know I won't be forgiving you anytime soon", she said sadly and with that walked away into the moving crowd. The rest of the day went fairly smoothly; even though Ron refused to speak to him. It wasn't until Hermione confronted him after dinner that Harry hit the bumpy road again. He was walking to the common room with his friends when Hermione leaned into his ear, "Harry; can I have a word with you?" She sounded like a teacher and made Harry want to laugh, but the veered off at the portrait of the fat lady to speak alone.

"Harry; I heard what happened. Why did you break up with Ginny", she asked bluntly.

Internally he was jovial that Ginny had kept to her promise. "I assume that you heard it from Ron and Ginny, so you should know that I can't tell you why. I really wish I could, but I can't. I'm sorry Hermione."

She gave him a very stiff look, "Why can't you tell me?"

"Because right now it's too personal to get into. I promise that I will tell you someday, but -I'm- just not ready to share yet", Harry told her; hoping that she would understand. She looked a bit ticked off, but she nodded shortly. They both proceed to walk silently back to the dormitories. When Harry finally headed to bed that night he drifted of peacefully; happy that he had calmed some of the storm. "_It's funny_", he thought to himself, "_all of this occurred in just two days._"

**~Mid October~**

Harry jolted up from his sleep in a cold sweat. That was the third time this week he had had the exact same dream. His hands clammy and eyes wild Harry began to calm himself. Looking around he noticed that there were only two boys still in the dorm other than himself. He sighed and then fell back with a soft thud onto his pillow. Harry stared at the bunk above him thinking about today's possible events. Slowly his mind drifted; as it always did, to Draco's image that Harry always had to shake it out. He began thinking about the fight they had had the day before; Harry knew that he had to continue to pretend to hate Draco so that his secret would be kept safe, but that didn't make things hurt any less. Harry dragged himself out of bed and dressed for the day; he had to wear things that were a bit warmer because the cold weather was beginning to roll in. All the golden, red, and brown leaves had already fallen off the trees creating a blanket of soft colors. Harry found the quiet crunch of the leaves comforting and gave him a sense of security; he wasn't sure why but it always did. He made his way down the dark stairway and proceeded towards breakfast and friends. He was so happy that he was back on speaking terms with Ginny and; with much explaining, Hermione got Ron to be more understanding. Unfortunately though there was much tension through-out most of the school due to the new DADA teacher. She is completely phyco and every time Harry heard her annoying voice or saw her ginormous pink bow he wanted to kill her.

And like anyone with all the things going on in the school Harry was stressed to say the least, but it wasn't completely the external happenings that were causing stress. Harry often scolded himself because though his full concern and attention should be on trying to stop this mad-woman and the fact that Voldemort was back; he often caught himself much more interested in Draco. He constantly asked himself questions, "_Should I just tell Draco?_", and, "_How can this one man do these things to me?_" Harry couldn't believe that he was so distracted over the blonde. He knew it was becoming a major problem and he was going to have to solve it if he were to focus on the obvious threats. He knew that he was going to have to tell Draco his feelings or show him. While pondering these things Harry didn't realize until he was at the door that he had already arrived at the Great Hall. Blinking a few times to re-orient himself he made his started toward the Gryfindor table. To his dismay he was arriving as Draco was leaving.

As he neared; Draco bumped into Harry before turning and spitting out, "Potter." His face was full of venom that secretly burned Harry.

Harry put on a similar face, "Malfoy." Harry's heart beat rapidly at their close quarters despite the hurtful electricity. He wished so desperately that he could read minds and know what Draco really thought of him.

Draco smirked at Harry before turning once more and leaving with his two goons trailing. Harry wasn't sure if he was thankful for the shortness of their encounter or not. He finished the walk to the table and took a seat next to Ron.

"Hey Harry", he said cheerily.

"Hi Ron", Harry leaned over, "hi Hermione."

Hermione waved in greeting. "Are you guys planning anything special for Halloween", she asked lightly.

It suddenly hit Harry that Halloween was only 12 days away; he hadn't even realized due to the pressing issues. "Well I s'pect there'll be a party at the com'n room; knowing Fred and George", Ron said with his mouth full; slurring most of his words.

Hermione nodded in agreement and turned to Harry. "Well… I haven't really given it much thought to be honest. I guess I won't be doing much of anything", he responded sheepishly.

"Well, I think that we should use the time to do some investigating on that Umbrige woman that night. I have a feeling that she's up to no good, she is a terribly dreadful woman. I still can't believe that she won't let us actually practice magic!" Hermione said sounding offended and determined at the same time.

Harry thought about it for a minute and then nodded. "_This would be a good way to get Draco off my mind_", he thought to himself.

"Yeah sounds good to me", the red-head next to him responded jovially.

Hermione looked suddenly thoughtful. "Where do you think we should meet? We can't meet near the dungeons because that's too close to the Slytherins and we can't so it outside of our dorms either."

"Well why don't we meet at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom like we did in 1st year", Harry suggested; wondering how the thought had even popped into his head.

"That's genius Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, "Yes that's a great place, but at what time do you want to meet?"

"Mmm; well I still want to get in some time at the common rooms before the night is over so why don't we meet after curfew so that we can still enjoy ourselves before-hand", came Ron's response while he took another bite of a tart that he had been eating.

Hermione looked towards Harry and he nodded in agreement; "Okay then we have ourselves a plan", she stated with a smile plastered to her face.

**Hope you guys liked it and I would like to say sorry for something real quick. I wanna say sorry for the time line being a bit off; I didn't realize that until afterward so very sorry about that for those who are very focused on the story being right. Anyway I look forward to you guys' reviews and would welcome any critics you might have and/or praises. :3 Buh-bye ~ Kue**


	3. Tastes Like Dark Chocolate

** Hey guys! I'm so so so so so sorry that I've been gone so long but school got hectic and I didn't have much time for anything else but homework and minimal sleep. Anyway I hope you enjoy :DD (I do not own J.K. Rowling's work)**

Twelve days passed by quickly for Harry; each day running in a sort of pattern. But when the day finally did come he was quite jittery. His aura radiated joy, for he was so happy that he had successfully taken his mind off of Draco. He seemed to strut down the hallways and conversation with Hermione and Ron was full throttle. It also helped that the whole school was decorated in glowing orange jack-o-lanterns and spider webs coated the walls. Ron wasn't all too excited about that part especially since they usually did put webs up for Halloween so he didn't usually deal with his intense arachnophobia during this time. None-the-less the trio was relatively up-beat. Even Hagrid seemed more cheerful than usual (if that's even possible), but Harry suspected that was partially because now it was okay to talk to giant spiders if only for today. It soon became a deep blue outside and the stars were once again challenging the moon to see who could shine brighter.

Inside the Gryffindor common room the Fred and George's party was booming, but Harry took no interest. Instead he sat on his favored chair and anxiously check the time approximately every five minutes. They had officially decided a few days ago that they would meet at 12:30. At the moment it was only eleven o'clock and the anxiety was killing Harry; chewing him up from the inside. His eyes searched the room till he found Ron who apparently had come in contact with alcohol at some point because he was struggling to stand in an upright permission and his eyes were glazed over. "_There is no way in hell I'm gonna talk to him while he is in this state_", Harry told himself. A deep sigh escaped his lips and he stood from his spot, "_No harm in getting there early I guess._" He stealthily walked through the corridors towards Myrtle's bathroom; careful not to bump into something and risk drawing attention to himself. After being in that unreasonably loud room he was happy for the silence that he discovered in the dark halls of Hogwarts.

He eventually reached his destination and was about to stroll through the door when he heard something on the other side that sounded a lot like running water. He cracked the door ever-so-slightly and peered into the dismal room. What he saw caused blood to rush to Harry's face faster than Rita to dirt (**when I say that I mean gossip just so you know**) on the minister. He witnessed Draco standing over a sink wetting his face with water. Harry noticed that Draco's eyes were red and slightly swollen and his nose was a light pink? "_He was crying?! But what could cause that…_", Harry wondered idly. Draco's sleeve dipped down showing one of his shoulders ever so slightly and Harry couldn't stop the images that popped into his mind just off that one fact. He couldn't take his eyes off of the ferret; he was mesmerized and somewhere way in the back of his mind he knew that he should be cautious should he be discovered. Draco's eyes were hard in the mirror staring at his own reflection and Harry wondered once again what he might be thinking.

Suddenly grey stormy eyes met emerald green and panic filled Harry's being. He had stood there too long! Draco's face changed from harsh and scornful to surprised and fear. Without thinking Harry turned and ran with all his might. "_I'll just tell her something came up or… something_", he thought hurriedly. When he arrived at the common room he made sure to avoid the partiers around him and maneuver his way to his shared dorm. He crawled into his bunk huffing and puffing. He tried desperately to put together what he had just seen and experienced. He couldn't think of a single thing that would make Draco cry or look so unbelievably flustered. When Harry's heart rate finally calmed he took a long breath and let it out slowly. He didn't know why but for some reason now he was much more tired than he had been only a few seconds before. He stared at the window by his bed and twiddled his thumbs while he contemplated his next move. Harry decided the best move at this point was to give into the temptation of sleep. He closed his eyes and felt his body become heavy with unconsciousness.

He didn't dream and when he woke up he idly wondered why that was. It was a rare occasion when Harry went dreamless. He got ready in sort of a trance while his mind was blank. He couldn't quite remember all of what happened last night. When he got to the Great Hall he noticed that Hermione looked quite peeved for some reason while Ron looked sheepish and was scratching his head with the most awkward smile Harry had ever witnessed on the red-head's face. He approached them and ended up taking a seat next to Ron. He jumped back in surprise when suddenly Hermione's finger was in his face.

"And you! Where were –you- last night, huh? I was waiting at Myrtle's bathroom for over an hour last night! I would expect that from Ron, but come on Harry!"

"HEY", Ron shouted in protest. Everything came flooding back to Harry and his stomach did a summersault at the memories. A blush grew on his face as he thought of the way he saw Draco the previous night.

"Sorry 'Mione but I ended up passing out in the dorm. I was doing homework and I guess I just got so tired and bored that my body took over. Heh heh", Harry tried his best to play it casual and Hermione seemed to buy into it; probably too frustrated to pay attention to Harry's fairly obvious discomfort. She began rambling again but he tuned it out, instead he let his eyes wander to the Slytherin table only to find Draco's were already staring at him intently ablaze with something akin to fury and fear wrapped into one. Harry gulped a bit as a bit of fear took hold of him as well. It wasn't until lunch that Draco confronted him. Harry had such a knack for getting into bad situations that he happened to be in an empty corridor just as Draco came strolling down the other end. The blondes featured quickly changed from cool and collected to that of a wild animal. He trapped Harry in a corner and leaned towards him.

"How long were you standing there?" He growled through his teeth.

"Y-you mea-an last night? Uh… umm only for a few-w minutes", Harry stuttered out. He was heart was pounding in his ears and he didn't know what to do.

Draco growled again then looked away. He took a step back from Harry, "You tell anyone… and your dead!" He abruptly turned around and walked away. Harry just stood there wide eyed and half wondering what he did and half wanting to apologize.

**~ Late December ~**

It had been two months since Harry's run in with Draco and neither of them had talked to each other since. Their fights would inject burning venom into Harry's vein; that was completely true but not speaking to the one he cared for so much hurt him more. He couldn't take it anymore, but it was almost Christmas and he was almost certain that Draco would go home for that holiday. Harry knew that Hermione was catching on to Harry's steadily growing depression but despite her probing he still wouldn't tell her. How could he? When he was honest with himself he knew that even he didn't understand how he could get so depressed over a little thing like this. It's not like he loved Draco… did he? "_But that's the only explanation isn't it?_" His subconscious attacked his thoughts and wouldn't let him think straight. On the inside a raging war was going on but on the outside Harry much resembled a zombie. His pace was sluggish and his eyes raked the corridors aimlessly when they fell upon a certain someone. His heart rate picked up substantially and he wanted nothing more than to approach him.

Unfortunately he couldn't muster the courage he just stood there like an idiot in the middle of the hall yelling at himself for being so cowardly. Once Draco turned the corner Harry's feet began moving again. He grit his teeth and stared at the ground while tears stung his eyes. He reached the entrance to the Great Hall and took a moment to compose himself before entering. Breakfast was short and the day seemed to fly past. Harry stayed in a foul mood most of the day despite the excited energy from those around him. Everyone was getting ready to head home and be with their families including Ron and Hermione. Seemed like this year he would be on his own.

Night finally rolled in and Harry roamed the halls alone. Without knowing what he was doing he found himself at the dungeons. It was cold and quiet but welcomed. Harry tugged at his jacket pulling it a bit closer. He continued walking keeping his steps quiet as not to disturb the people that weren't there. Right as he was about to round the corner he saw the boy he dreamed of for the second time that day. He stopped dead in his tracks and backed up a bit while pressing himself against the wall. He watched as the stormy eyed teen stood in the middle of the hall completely silent and staring at the floor. He was obviously troubled but Harry couldn't think why. A thought suddenly struck Harry and it caused him to step out of his hiding place loud enough to make his presence known. Draco's head snapped up to look Harry in the face.

His features screamed hate but his eyes were full of confusion, "Potter. What do you think you're doing here?"

Harry was absolutely giddy about talking to Draco but he put on a façade. "Just walking Malfoy. Is that a crime now?"

Draco laughed harshly, "No not at all, but you should stay away a snake might get you."

Harry just stared at the boy wanting to laugh at him for his corny comeback. After a few seconds he couldn't hold it in. He busted out laughing and Draco was visibly getting angrier.

"WHAT?! You think that's funny?!" Pale turned to red as the blonde got angrier and angrier at Harry.

"I'm…. sorry ferret… I can't help…. it", Harry spoke between fits of laughing but by the end of the sentence he was able to compose himself once more.

Draco's eyes threw daggers but then a blush non-related to rage graced his cheeks. Harry's heart rate rose once again at the site. "You… you didn't tell anyone what you saw right?"

Harry was a bit surprised, "Umm no I haven't."

"Not even that mud-blood friend of yours? Or the blood-traitor?"

As much as he cared for Draco the comments that the boy had just made caused Harry's blood to boil. He clenched his fists and after weeks of being on edge he snapped, "What if I did, what you are going to do about it spoiled brat? How dare you call my friends those names! Who do you think you are! You're pathetic! You want me to keep your secret about you crying like a baby over who-knows-what yet you stand here and insult the person whom knows about it! You're so unbelievably cocky!" He knew that he didn't believe even half of the stuff that he was throwing at the boy in front of him but he couldn't stop himself.

Draco seemed on the brink of tears, "You don't understand! I can't let you tell anyone about that!" The ferret moved towards Harry and ended up trapping him against the wall. "I will do anything it takes to keep that secret! It could ruin me, you don't know what it's like! What do you want from me? You want me to say 'sorry'?! I'll do it. I'll do anything to keep that secret! You just… you don't understand!" Draco hit the wall beside Harry's face and the tears that were previously trapped began rolling down his face.

"Draco…", Harry muttered. The blonde's head shot up with shock written on his face from hearing his first name. Before Harry knew what he was doing his lips were locked with Draco's. He arms slid up his back and his hand tangled into his short locks. Draco had gone stiff in Harry's arms, but soon relaxed. He pushed Harry away from him but not roughly.

"Why…", he whispered as his head dropped.

"Draco I-I… I have felt something for you for months. I don't understand it and I can't control it! I broke up with Ginny when I realized it but even after that I couldn't tell you! I know it's not possible for you to feel the same way and I know that I have to tell you right now or else my head might explode!" Harry took a deep breath after his confession and had to gulp back tears. When Draco looked at him, he expected to see disgust or rage but that's not what was in his eyes. Instead he saw hope.

"Oh… Harry", he exclaimed. And then their lips were connected again. Their eyes closed and their arms wrapped around each other as Harry was pushed more against the wall. He hummed against Draco's mouth. The blonde tasted like dark chocolate; Harry's guilty pleasure. It made him smile.

**I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! I know I did ;) I hope to post another chapter or two before the Christmas break is over! Leave me some critics or praises because I thoroughly enjoy them. Buh-bye ~Kue **


	4. Tears so Sweet

**Hey guysss! I hope that all of you had a great/good Christmas. I'm glad that you guys have enjoyed my story so far and I hope to keep you entertained! Anyway I'll go ahead and get to this chapter. I don't own Harry Potter and envy Rowling for having thought of this wondrous story! Btw this is gonna be in the point of view of Draco cause I've been itching to do that since day one!**

"Oh… Harry!" Draco couldn't take it anymore. He was up against Harry again and though his mind shouted at him to stop his body and heart knew that it was right. "_This is how it's supposed to be_", he whispered to himself. Tears were still streaming down his face, but now it was from joy. Harry pulled away from his lips and Draco let a disappointed whimper escape his lips, but soon felt his heart flutter as the raven-haired boy kissed away his tears and licked away the wet trails. Draco felt so comfortable in his arms. He silently wished that the moment would not end; that they could be stuck there like that forever. But he knew that that wasn't how things really worked. After about three more minutes they parted for air.

"Draco, why are you still crying?" Harry questioned him while whipping away a stray tear from his face.

Said Slytherin looked into the lion's eyes, "Harry you have no idea how long I've dreamt of this to happen. I've wanted this for –so- long. I'm crying because I'm happy."

Harry smiled warmly at the blonde. Without warning Harry's eyes flashed with guilt, "I'm so sorry Draco. I've treated you so horribly."

"It's okay; I did act like a git. I would have done the same thing if I were in your position." Both of the teens laughed lightly. Harry caressed the blonde's face lightly and pulled him into another kiss. Things began to get heated and Draco could feel his arousal becoming more intense. He pushed Harry roughly against the wall and began striping his shirt while the Chosen-One's hand roamed Draco's body. Draco leaned down and began kissing Harry's neck and nibbled at his collar bone drawing a moan from the boy's lips. Then Harry became stiff beneath him. He felt the Gryffindor's hands push him lightly back from his body. Draco knew that the hurt was clear in his face and he began second guessing himself. "_Maybe this was a trick. A sick joke to find out my weakness. How could I get my hopes up like this? I'm so stupid_", anger began to enter Draco's feelings and he was about to put on his mask again when Harry spoke.

"No, not like this Draco. I can't let this be how it happens. I want this; believe me I do but I want to get closer to you and I definitely don't want this to happen in a desolate corridor."

Relief flooded Draco like a tsunami and he nodded with a small smile, "I'm sorry Harry. I got a little too excited I guess." He could feel blood rushing to his face rapidly and looked away in an effort to hide it. But Harry wouldn't let him; the lion cupped his chin and turned his face to look at him. Harry giggled at Draco's flustered state.

"Let's meet tomorrow and we can talk okay?" The raven-haired boy's smile warmed him to his core. He nodded lightly and then leaned in to get Harry another kiss.

"Good night", Draco whispered and then turned and walked back to the Slytherin common room. When he had got to his dorm he laid down in his bunk and sighed heavily. "_Maybe we are going too fast. What if this ends up just like the others. He'll take what he wants and then leave me here to deal with the mess afterwards._" The thought brought Draco back to the edge of tears. "_No_", he thought defiantly, "_Harry isn't like that. He would never do that to me. And he said he wanted to wait so doesn't that mean he doesn't have plans to leave me behind?_" Draco fought with himself until he finally drifted off; settling on the idea that he would find out tomorrow.

The night passed quickly and the blonde awoke to the sun's golden lace rays falling across his face. He stretched and ran a hand through his hair. He decided he would forgo slicking it back today. After all who did he have to fool while almost everyone was away with their families? Even Crabbe and Goyle had left him to enjoy their vacations. He got dressed without making much noise and then headed down to the Great Hall. Only a few handfuls of students were staying at Hogwarts this fine holiday, but it was enough that he still put on his cool stare and avoid joining a certain someone at the crimson decorated table. Instead he skulked over to his table and to a seat far away from the other five Slytherins left. He grabbed a cherry tart off of one of the plates and nibbled at it while his mind drifted to the night before and how soft Harry's lips felt against his own. He longed for the other body's warmth even more that he did for his own father's approval. He allowed himself a quick glance over to the lions' table and realized that Harry was already looking at him. The boy flashed a sweet smile towards him and then turned to continue his breakfast. Draco turned and looked down at his tart once more desperately trying to cover up his harsh blush.

He finished his tart and some pumpkin juice before deciding to exit the overly-large room. He walked the halls in silence for a little while before he heard soft footsteps behind him. Draco glanced over his shoulder to find that it was none other than the raven-haired boy himself. The blonde smiled to himself and motioned for Harry to join him. Harry trotted forward and fell into step next to Draco's side.

"Come with me to the Slytherin common room and we can talk. The password is 'snake skin'," Draco whispered to him.

Harry nodded, "I'll meet you there in a few minutes; I have to stop by my dorm first. Which room are you?"

"Third door down after you get passed the stairs."

Harry nodded once more and then trotted off in the direction of the stairs. "_Just in time_", Draco thought as he heard another student turn the corner. The blonde went back to the dungeons and waited patiently for Harry to arrive. He felt his excitement grow with every second that he waited. He looked to his desk that held his books and unfinished homework. It looked a little more than messy and Draco suddenly felt very self-conscious of that fact. He stood quickly and began organizing the pile and then moved to fix his bed sheets. Just as he was closing his trunk he heard the door click closed. Slightly startled he turned and looked but found nothing. His mind wasn't quite grasping the idea until Harry pulled off the invisibility cloak and laughed at the blonde's cluelessness. Draco just scowled and sat down on his bead once more. He patted the expanse of silk sheets beside him as a gesture for Harry to take a seat. The raven-haired boy obliged happily.

"You go first, ask me anything", the ferret offered.

"Okay… well last night… why were you crying?" Harry's eyes were filled with concern and Draco looked away slightly at the remembrance of the previous night's events.

"Well… it was my father." Draco shuttered at the thought and he could read the confusion on Harry's face. "He was really peeved because I told him that wasn't going to get him something he wanted from Snape's private stash", Draco hesitated, "it was a poison he planned on using on… one of the family's enemies. I just couldn't do it. He came to the school to get it and when I told him that I wouldn't do it… he… smacked me and told me I could forget about coming home this holiday." The blonde felt arms wrap around him tightly.

"I can't believe your dad could so something so horrible to you. He's dragging you down with him. You shouldn't have to do those evil things too", Harry whispered to Draco; anger clear in his voice. Draco winced at his words, but Harry didn't seem to notice. "_No I can't tell him yet. I just got him; I don't want him to leave so soon._" Subconsciously Draco's hand pulled up to rest on his other wrist.

"Okay my turn. Why didn't you go home for Christmas? I would have thought the 'Chosen-One' would have plenty to do." Harry hit him playfully but then his face became very serious.

"To be honest; my aunt and uncle hate me. They hate magic and anything that has to do with it. The only reason it's bearable is because Dumbledore 'convinced' them to give me a room bigger than the cupboard I used to reside in and because of this school. Being at Hogwarts is my real home so I stay here. Besides my aunt and uncle don't want me back for the holidays anyway." Harry seemed very somber and if felt as if a train had hit Draco. He would have never guessed that was Harry's home life. He wanted nothing more than to make Harry's problems disappear.

"I'm sorry", Draco muttered.

"Heh; its fine. Anyway it's my turn again", Harry said with a light voice, "why do you hang out with those gits Crabbe and Goyle?"

"For one I could say the same thing about Granger and Weasley. Anyway it started off because my dad asked me too, but after first year I realized that they weren't that bad of guys. Ya know that phrase 'Ignorance is bliss'? Well that's pretty much them in a nutshell. They don't know better."

"I see, well I can't say I agree that Hermione and Ron are the same way but I won't fight you on that", he laughed. "Your turn again!"

Draco hesitated slightly. There was a question he really wanted to ask but he was afraid of what Harry would say. "H-harry… that first day…"

"Yeah", Harry urged him to continue.

"Why didn't you take my hand?" The blonde felt Harry go tense next to him and he began to regret his question.

The lion exhaled audibly, "There were a couple of reasons actually. The first was because Ron had mentioned the Malfoy family to me while we were on the train and pointed you out as soon as he spotted you. The second is because of the way you treated Ron. Draco you have to understand that I grew of with my cousin; one of the biggest bullies in the world. Every day of my childhood I've been mistreated and shunned for my origin so seeing you do that to Ron… it kind of set me off. And then lastly I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I was put on the spot so I just kind of went with my gut feeling. I'm sorry Draco."

"It's okay Harry. You're rejection… it hurt a lot and I hated you for it. But I understand now. And the hate didn't last long; before I knew what was happening my feelings changed from hate to desire." Draco blushed heavily at his confession. The rest of the day went similarly. They laid themselves bare, but both withheld certain things. Together they decided to keep their relationship hush-hush. They parted with a good-night kiss. Draco felt so jovial at being so close to the one he felt so strongly for. He went to sleep that night much happier than he had been in a long time.

**Okay don't kill me, right? The next chapter will have smut I promise ^-^! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter too. Btw guys, either tomorrow or today I'm gonna be posting a new story that is based off of the anime Ouran High School Host Club. If any of you guys like that anime I would appreciate you guys checking it out! I'm so glad for you guys' support! I welcome any critics or praises! :3 Buh-Bye ~Kue**


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